Who or What is Light Source?

"The eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye is clear; your whole body is full of light; but when it is bad, your body also is full of darkness."

Luke 11:34

"Walk as children of light."

Ephesians 5:8

Most recently I have been filled with a persona that has been anything but light bearing or light giving. Darkness has been invading my soul, and like any dark room, you are bound to bump into things or people and incur personal or collateral damage. My damage has been collateral, as my oldest daughter plainly conveyed to me. In the darkness of my soul, I have been bumping into the hearts and emotions of my family members. 

Not understanding where the light of my soul had taken refuge, I came upon a quote by Kim McMillin in her book, When I Loved Myself Enough. McMillen writes, "I learned that when I am feeling pain it is because I am living outside the truth." Yes, I have been living outside of the truth, so it makes sense why darkness has been my friend. 

What is this truth I have been living outside of? It is the same truth that many people forget: That the approval of people, the perfect job, respectful children who live neat and tidy, stress free relationships, checkbooks that balance, friends that remember you, families that live in perfect and peaceful harmony, a world that extends forgiveness, houses that never need cleaning, newscasts that highlight peace and tranquility among the nations, circumstances that lead to favorable outcomes, and a schedule that is balanced with perfect margin for breathing space are not necessary in defining or fulfilling one's purpose. People, jobs, nor relationships provide the guiding light of truth. All of these sources are really shadows cast over the true source of light-God himself.

Luke states that the eye is the lamp of the body, and that when the eye is clear, we are filled with light. So, it comes down to focus. Focus sets my heart in motion. If my eyes are focused on the one who is the true source of light, then my heart and soul will not languish from a darkness that prevails, or an exhaustion that defeats. Yes, I have been depending on others and circumstances to be my guiding light. Instead, I found darkness.

God is the true light, and He is truth. He reminds me that my identity is in him alone. The pain I feel living in the fragile shadows of false light or truths disappear when He becomes my focus. My purpose becomes clear, and I am absent of the emptiness of depending on others to fill and sustain me. "The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him." (Lamentations 3:24)

Who or what is your source of light? Remember, whomever or whatever you follow as your light becomes your identity. Today, identify with God and allow Him to illuminate the truth of who you are: walk in the power and discovery of His guidance and provision.

Father, when I sit in darkness, remind me that I am not following the true light-You. Help me to recognize when I have allowed the outcome of circumstances or the approval or others to replace You. You alone are my hope. In You alone I walk in truth. Thank you for revealing Truth. Thank You for being Light.